The best way to learn what negative thoughts you have is to listen to what you say. What comes our of our mouths reveals everything about our thinking. For the next week, keep track of how many negative statements you make. An easy clue is to catch how many times you say NO and NOT and all the various forms NOT takes: can't, won't, don't, couldn't, shouldn't, etc.
"I don't want X."
"I can't do Y."
"He/she won't ___."
When you catch yourself making a negative statement (or someone else catches you), restate the sentence to be positive.
"I don't want X" becomes "I prefer Y."
"I can't" restated becomes "I want to learn how to do this," or "I need support to get this done."
"It's not fair" becomes "I want things to be equitable."
Sounds easy. Right?
To get the most out of this exercise, ask the entire family to participate or ask a friend to do the exercise at the same time so you can share what you learn with one another.