"When I look at myself I don't see
The man I wanted to be
Somewhere along the line I slipped off track
I'm caught movin' one step up and two steps back" -- Bruce Springsteen
At some point, it happens to us all. We sense it in our bodies long before the words enter our minds. Lethargy. Resistance. Exhaustion. Maybe even anger. Looking for someone or something to blame.
At long last, we admit to ourselves. I did it again. I lost sight of what's really important. The accumulation of poor choices, doing the little things I know better to do or ignoring the things I know I should, and here I am in that same old familiar place again. Like the song says, "I'm the same old story, same old act. One step up and two steps back."
It feels like we're stuck. But we're not. We are simply out of practice. And what there is to do, is to jump right in and restore the integrity in what we know to do and refrain from doing. No more excuses or indulgences. Just clean up the mess. Make your apologies. Recommit to the practices that pull for your happiness and success.
And don't beat yourself up.
Failure is part of being human. Failure is part of the process. It's why they call it practice.
"You will catch yourself riding the What-if Roller Coaster and Last-Word Merry-Go-Round. You will find yourself taking a dunk in the Pit of the Past, making mountains out of molehills, collecting grievances, digging holes of sand trying to please others, keeping score of your injustices, and squandering energy on things that do not produce fruit or forward who you truly are.”
I nod. I now have a clue what I am up against. My conviction grows.
“Do not punish yourself.”
I give a sheepish grin.
“When you discover you have lost your way, simply interrupt the cycle."
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